Bum Genius Blues

Fiona at 2 months.

Ever since I was first pregnant I just knew that we were going to cloth diaper. Not only did I have strong convictions regarding the environmental welfare of cloth diapers, but babies are so darn cute in those big plush butts.

We initially got started with some pre-folds and eventually made our way up to the big commitment - an entire set of BumGenius 3.0

Now mind you, I scrimped and saved for months to be able to buy 24 BG's. And the whole mantra that I repeated to myself as I swiped my visa was "I'll be able to use these through all of our kids. They're great cloth diapers that we can reuse and reuse. They will pay for themselves."

Two years later, I stand before you and say, I am THIS CLOSE to switching to disposables. UGH!

Before I delve into the problems, a few things.
1. I've never been the person to "abuse" my diapers. The elastic is superb. They have been washed per manufacturer's directions using Charlie's Soap every time.
2. I just spent 5 hours on Friday stripping and scrubbing them (both covers and microfiber inserts) to no avail.
3. My kids do not sit in wet diapers. They aren't soaking through because they've sat in it for 4 hours.

Now that that's out of the way, lets talk individual kids...and problems.

FIONA
She is now 2 years old, 25 pounds, and no-where near the shining lights of potty-training (sigh).
Problem - she soaks through the BumGenius diapers like they're paper. She pees so much that it runs out the sides before it has a chance to soak in. The term "heavy-wetter" is an understatement. It doesn't matter how many inserts I stuff into the BG's it still spills out. (Note - stripping the diapers has not helped this problem)

ISAIAH
Apparently boys are physiologically built differently from girls (duh). Whereas girls pee straight down and the pee soaks in at the bottom of the diaper, boys pee more straight out which soaks the front of the diaper. So here is the problem: even when I snap the BG's into infant mode the insert slides enough to the bottom that when Isaiah pees it runs out the front sides soaking his shorts.

So my questions to you -
Do you still cloth diaper your toddler?
Is there a good cloth diaper for toddlers? What do you use?
Is there a better cloth diaper for boys? What do you use?
Is there a way to make my BumGenius function again for either child (different inserts, etc)?

Please help!! I will take any and all advice/thoughts/criticism. I've seen those postings where people carry on about "I think I ruined my cloth diapers!" and I don't want to be one of them, but I'm baffled. Seriously. Have I somehow ruined my BG's or do I just have super-soaker kids whose kidneys are stuck in overdrive? Do I need to suck it up and save for some new diapers?

Isaiah's Birth Story

Foreword - I wrote this mainly so that my memory can be jogged every now and then to remind myself of how wonderful new life truly is. Don't feel compelled to read it for literary genius - its more a personal compilation. Enjoy if you like!

Isaiah’s Birth Story

Tuesday, August 24^th, 2010

The Monday night before Isaiah was born I called the Birth Center to give them a heads up that I thought he would be coming over the next day or so. They urged me to get some good sleep and rest up as much as possible that night.

I tried my best, but didn’t sleep well. I was very uncomfortable and too excited to get labor going.

By 7am Tuesday morning I was contracting regularly and called my Mom to come over to get Fiona. Will packed the car and I got Fiona ready for her big play-date with my Mom, who Fiona affectionately calls “Giggle Giggles.”

As I played on the floor with Fiona waiting for Mom to arrive I tried to cherish the moment – this would be the last morning that we would have our usual scheduled routine of playtime and breakfast together without my attention being divided for another sibling. It was bittersweet, but I knew that exciting and different times were coming.

Mom arrived and Fiona left gladly to play.

Will and I got in the van and headed off to Chapel Hill.

It was a cool rainy morning with hints of the sunshine peaking through the clouds. The drive to Chapel Hill was incredibly peaceful as we enjoyed the scenery of the local countryside.

We called the midwives on the way and let them know we were coming. Kate was the midwife on-call and was at the hospital. Jewell was her midwife backup, a familiar soul who birthed Fiona. We were very happy to have both of them ready for us.

We made it to Chapel Hill and stopped by the grocery store to pick up some popsicles and snacks. The poor guy in front of us in line freaked out once he realized that I was in labor.

Without delay we decided to go on to the Birth Center and arrived to find Helen, the nurse ready for us waiting downstairs. It was about 10am.

Helen helped us to get setup in our room, the same peach colored room that I had Fiona in. I loved the warmth and privacy of that room, including the huge tub and spray shower.

Since my contractions were only 5 minutes apart we decided to go on a walk in the back parking lot. By then the rain had let up and it was a beautiful cool morning, unusual for August in NC. Will and I walked and talked and prayed together. It was so comforting to hear Will’s prayers for me and Isaiah. I constantly prayed and surrendered myself to God. I prayed knowing that birthing is His process and I am just his vessel. I prayed that His strength would come through my weakness, and that I would not labor in fear but in peace.

We returned to our room and I decided get some rest. I ate a snack and then tried to nap, cuddled by Will behind me and with Fiona’s sacred “white blankee” in my hands. After about an hour of napping Jewel arrived and offered to check me. It was about noon. I was 5cm progressing well. Helen helped get the tub filled and I decided to go for a swim.

Just as I got in the tub, Will’s Mother Marian arrived. She helped to keep the conversation going as labor got tough – nice to keep your mind off the aches and groans and creaks of bones during those hard contractions.

By about 1:30 Kate arrived and introduced herself. I was continuing to labor in the tub without difficulty and was working through the contractions with lots of massage from Will. I could have never done this without him. His strength and encouragement were the best thing to keep me going. I loved hearing his praises and his incredibly strong hands were just what I needed for my lower back and hip pain.

Around 2pm I told Kate that I needed to be checked because I felt like pushing. She checked and announced that I was 9cm. At that point I got out of the tub and crawled up on the bed. The midwives rushed around getting the room ready for the birth. At first I thought that I would try pushing upright but found that I couldn’t get a stable position on the slippery sheets.

I laid down and began to push with each contraction. Will never left my side and helped me to curl up in the right position to get Isaiah out. The first few pushes felt fruitless, and then my water broke. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. A large gush of fluid shot across the room nearly soaking Kate and Jewell who were positioned for Isaiah’s birth.

The pushes after that were strong and moved Isaiah down quickly.

With the first push I got half of his head out and had to stop until another contraction came on. Then the rest of his head emerged and then his body. It was beautiful to see Will lift Isaiah’s slippery newborn body up into the air and place him on my belly. His cry was strong and loud. I was in love immediately.

We chose his name after much deliberation –

Isaiah Terry Whitfield Farmer

Isaiah means “God is Salvation.”

Terry is Will’s Father’s name which means “leader of the people.”

Whitfield is one of my Grandfather’s names meaning “white field.”

Birth Stats:

Born at 2:45pm, weighing in at 8 pounds, 9 ounces. He was 21.5 inches long with a head circumference of 11.5 inches.

ISAIAH 12:2

Behold, God is my salvation;

I will trust, and will not be afraid;

for the Lord God is my strength and my song,

And HE has become my salvation.

Where do babies come from?

A conversation with a 4 year old at the pool today. Enjoy.

"Hi my name is Lilly." (a very curious 4 year old...staring intently at my huge stomach)
"Hi Lilly, my name is Jen."
"Jen, whats that?" (pointing at my belly)
"Thats a baby."
"Whats it doing in there?"
"Growing & taking a nap." (Where is Lilly's mom?)
"Can he come out and play?"
"No not right now, he'll come out later."
"Well how does he get out of there, through your skin?"
(Err...how do I explain this to not-my-4-year-old?)
"He comes out of a trap door beneath my belly."
(I decided now was the time to walk away as she was reaching for my bathing suit to look for the door. Hahaha.)

I'm NOT that woman...

Each day I try to read at least one of the Proverbs (usually correlating with the date).

Today's read of Proverbs 31 was timed just right as I was a complete B to my husband last night.

Last night I got home early from work at 10pm. As I approached the back porch I could see Will sitting on the couch working hard on some very difficult homework; PhD level statistics I think.

The next thing I saw was the inside of the house; a complete disaster.

I walked in and all I could see was piles of smelly laundry (including dirty cloth diapers), toys all over the floors, food and dirty plates all over the kitchen.

I resolved to take a shower and work through the house one area at a time before I went to bed. Did I mention that I didn't even say "hi" or hug my husband?

I got out of the shower and started on the laundry. I grabbed an armful of wet soaker pads from Fiona's diapers (pee-eww!) and opened the washing machine. *******!!! A load full of mildewing clothes sat in my way. They had to be washed all over again before I could start the diapers.

Ok nevermind...I'll start on the toys.

So I got down on all fours and started picking up all the toys; not very quietly either. Will looked up from his homework and asked "Are you mad about something?" "NO" I replied quickly, and kept slamming toys back into their place.

Next was the kitchen. The dishwasher had to be unloaded and re-loaded. Plates are not quiet things to put back in the cupboard anyway... Will popped his head in the kitchen and asked "Are you purposely trying to make as much noise as possible?" My response? "You sure are asking for it tonight. You're on my last **** nerve."

Nothing else was spoken between the two of us the rest of the night. There wasn't even a kiss goodnight.

I felt like crap all night and dreamed about terrible things.

This morning Will gave me a kiss and said "I love you" before leaving to go to school at 5am.

When Fiona woke up at 7am I went into my sparkling clean kitchen (of guilt) to fetch her a sippy cup of milk. I opened the refrigerator and saw that Will had already pre-poured one for me, knowing that Fiona would need one (gulp).

Over and over again I've heard my pastor's praise their wives for being Godly loving women who seem to have never spoken an ill word. Apparently, I am just not that woman. I am not the Proverbs 31 woman...but I can still try, right?

I am so thankful that my husband is forgiving, loving, thoughtful, and hard working. If there was a Proverbs 31 man, he could be it...at least today. ;o)

What I'm even more thankful for is that Jesus has offered crazy filth-induced rage cleaners like me forgiveness and as many second chances as we need. He's also given us a great example of what we can strive to be as women in Proverbs 31.

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
¹²She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
¹⁴She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
²²She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Love Thy Neighbor

I wish I could say that our neighborhood is "up and coming" or "in revitalization."

Since we moved in 2 years ago we've seen the neighborhood progressively change in good and bad ways.

The Good:
*The pack of stray pit-bulls seems to have dissipated somewhat.
*We've made new friends with our neighbors Hannah and Landon (yeah for playmates!)
*No one has ever stolen from our property (without being caught red-handed).
*We have a beautiful house on nearly 1 acre with a fenced in back yard for the dogs and a garden.
*Our neighbors Cynthia and Bernie are always watching.
*The daily snow-cone truck in the summer is a God-send when pregnant.

The Bad:
*The house down the road has gone from being a cute little yellow house being rented by a sweet old lady into a complete dump. There are over 16 cars/trucks/boats in the yard (of which only 2 work). There is also a perpetual yard-sale in the front yard; there are just piles of junk in the yard and a sign everyday that says "YARD SALE." My favorite part of their yard decoration is a big sign that says "You're making me known." Really? What does that even mean???
*The home across from us is now abandoned by its previous inhabitants. But he left the yard completely trashed, and his creditors are now showing up at our doorstep asking where he moved to.
*The home behind us is now being rented out by what appears to be a group of teenage boys???
*Last night I heard 6 semi-automatic handgun shots fired right outside our front yard. Not the first time I've heard it, but definitely the closest to home its ever been.

So why am I airing all of my grievances? Because I'm frustrated, yes. Because I'm tired of looking at all the crap strewn across our neighbor's yard, yes. Because I know them, and have made an effort as a Christian to "love thy neighbor"? No.

Today Fiona fell asleep in the van. I pulled up a chair and sat in the sunlight doing my Bible study while she finished (I specifically positioned my chair so I didn't have to look at our neighborhood). I opened to 1st John 4 and started reading.

To make things easy for you, let me summarize 1st John 4 - LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS

Urgh! But I don't want to love my neighbors!!! I want to turn them into Wake County for ordinance violations!!! I want to have the Sheriff's department have permanent posting on our corner.

Why am I having such a hard time at this? I haven't even made the effort to walk to their houses and introduce myself.

Don't get me wrong. I have some friends in the neighborhood...friends that resemble, well, me.

But Jesus doesn't call us to LOVE only people that resemble us.

I discussed this with my husband Will tonight and he made a good point -

Will - "If you were at work, and one of our neighbors showed up, would you treat them any differently than any of your other patients?"
Me - "Of course not. Its my job to give all patients equal and excellent treatment."
Will - "As a Christian, what is your job?"

Gulp.

So I asked Will to help me pray and find a way to reach out and LOVE our neighbors. Not for me, but for Jesus. Because I want them to look into our lives and say "they're making Jesus known." Now that makes sense.

In a garden, you have to give a lot of love, and take a lot of bull...

In a garden, you have to give a lot of love, and take a lot of bull...well, in our case horse. Poop that is.

This weekend we (by we I mean Will) took the initiative to begin prepping the garden and planting some rows. Will is a very to the matter kind of person and took one look at our soil and said, "That soil needs some fertilizer." And off he went to visit Ms. Janice down the street for some of her finest organic horse manure.

While Will worked lovingly to spread the manure and till it into our field, Fiona and I walked around the garden and talked about our other attractions. We visited the rooster.


We also visited the compost pile and talked about colors.


Lastly, we went and visited our honeybees who were still working hard, even in 40 degree weather and 20mph winds. If you ever want your garden to flourish, get some honeybees. They're excellent pollinators and you even get to eat their yummy honey at the end of the summer.


It was such a beautiful weekend. We had the best time out in the garden and even tried to play in the yard with our neighbor friend Landon. However, Fiona sat in a nest of fire-ants and our day was over. No worries, Fiona's just fine.

As a public service announcement - if you ever step/sit in a pile of fire-ants immediately run away and disrobe all clothing as quickly as possible. Not only is this effective at getting the ants off of you quickly, but its quite entertaining for all who are watching.

Getting back to the garden... For those of you interested in what Will planted this weekend - six rows of peas (several varieties) and two rows of potatoes (mixed variety).

Randomness

I am blogging twice tonight because I don't get much "me" time on the computer. Typically I have a husband or a toddler (or both) calling my name or pulling at me to come and play.

The following topics may are completely random spewings of my brain - so read what you like and discard the rest!

Pregnancy
So, I'm pregnant. I'm around 14 weeks or so. And no, I don't know what I'm having yet - we'll find out in April.
This pregnancy has been much different from my 1st. With Fiona everything about pregnancy was new and exciting and scary. I started prepping for her arrival the moment that test came back positive. With this one I feel like I'm just back into an old routine: wake up 3 times during the night to pee, eat 6 full meals a day plus snacks, drink inordinately huge amounts of water - no caffeine, no sushi, no wine/beer (sigh).
My tummy has also gotten back into the swing of pregnancy. Apparently whatever was stretched before now stretches much more easily and my bump is already showing.
I've also done absolutely no work on the house. We only have two bedrooms, and so Fiona will be sharing her room with the baby. I'll let you know how that goes.
Anyhow - for now I'm feeling pretty good. Got my 2nd trimester energy going on, and so long as our pantry is stocked then I'm a happy girl.

Mommyhood
Fiona is so much fun these days. At 19 months she is all over the place and starting to challenge me on a few things.
Until last month Will and I had made it 5 years without a television. Actually we still don't have a television - just an old computer monitor hooked up to a DVD player. But after watching Yo Gabba Gabba, Elmo's World, Praise Baby, Sesame Street, and Milo & Otis more times than I care to count - I'm seriously reconsidering this move. Fiona will now walk up to me, point at the screen and say "TV please." She'll also push her rocking chair over to the movies, climb up and pick out what she wants to watch.
Yes - this can provide a few minutes of Fiona-free time for me, but the rest of the time she's like Telly Monster.

Country Life
Its spring again out here on the farm and Will is gearing up for another splendid garden this year. He's already added year-old compost dirt, tilled it under and is hoeing the rows.
I'm looking forward to watching our little crops grow and eating the first tomato off the vine. Yum!
I'm fairly certain that we'll be selling some produce again this year. My goal is that once the harvest is in that I'll post weekly updates of what is in season for you to pick from.
Actually, the asparagus should start coming up in the next few weeks...I'll keep you updated.

Working
Recently I cut back my hours at work so that I'm working two days a week. This change has really helped my scheduling of life, and its made me appreciate my job more. I really enjoy it when I'm there, and then I really enjoy my time off when I'm home.

Married Life
I absolutely love my husband.
Will is working on his PhD, and will be for the next several years. He works incredibly hard (he's actually napping right now so he can wake up at midnight to study for tomorrow's statistics exam).
He is also incredibly funny...well at least I find his humor funny.
The other night we were discussing the topic of beauty in the Bible. We were laughing at how it talks about enjoying the wife of your youth, and how beauty is fleeting but a godly woman is to be praised. Will's comment, "Beauty may be fleeting but damn its good while its still here!" Thanks honey. Did I mention that he loves my pregnancy body? No really, he does. I think if I could be 8 months pregnant all the time he would go for it.

God
I fell off the Bible reading wagon recently and need to jump back on.
I'm reading the Bible in reverse because I can't ever get past Leviticus if I start at Genesis. So far I've made it from Revelation to 1st John. I hope to finish the NT by New Years 2011.
Will and I are also struggling to merge our beloved Community Group with another Community Group from Vintage 21. We were led to this conclusion after the discovery of baby #2 on the way. Too many irons in the fire. We just pray that God will open a door so that everyone can still be together and not divide into different groups. So if you're a Vintage person and you know your CG can handle a merge and are kid friendly let me know!!!

Forgiven

Last night I got home from a long day at work and climbed into the shower. On the side of the tub, written in Fiona's foam bath letters I saw "4given"

I wish I had taken a picture of it.

When I saw that I just burst into tears. Sometimes I don't realize how much anxiety I carry around, or how much sin I allow to build up inside of me. Its not until I am reminded that I am forgiven that my heart overflows with relief.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1st John 1:9

Hello? Calling all Israelites...

Callings. Really, what are they all about? Are they about you, about someone else, about God? Its all very confusing.

I've been trying to jot down notes on callings, but to be perfectly honest, I didn't come up with anything that profound on my own.

Recently I've been struggling with feeling lost in my walk (and no, we're not talking about in the six thousand isles of my local WalMart). I just feel like I'm spiritually drifting. In years past I always felt "called" to do something; to serve on a committee, to volunteer for church nursery, to go on mission trips. But recently I just feel lost.

My husband Will sweetly reminded me that all Christians go through some form of this with ups and downs in their spiritual mojo. And then he started reading to me from Numbers.

So Numbers, cliff-notes version: There were a lot of "lost" people [Israelites] who were constantly trying to figure out where they were supposed to be. God had appointed them a leader [Moses] through whom He spoke. The Israelites were always doing something wrong because they didn't listen to God, and Moses was always having to intercede on their behalf.

At this point in the story I turned to Will and said "So what is up with the Israelites? Do they just not get it? Do they not understand that they need to just follow God's will?" To which Will replied, "Well, you see...the Israelites always assumed that God was with them no matter what choices they made. Whereas Moses before making any decision sought out God's will in prayer, and in doing such received specific instructions for his next move." I had to think about that one for a minute and then said "Ooohhhhh. So what you're telling me is maybe if I ask about my calling in prayer then maybe I'll be given direction instead of wandering aimlessly through my spiritual desert?" Bingo.

Since praying about my calling I can't say that God has appeared to me in a huge cloud like He did to Moses. But I can say I'm not feeling as lost as I was. And who knows, maybe my calling will call me soon.

If you're feeling lost spiritually I urge you to pray for direction. Ask God to remove the barriers in front of you and set before you a clean path. And always know, you're not alone in that desert, there's always God, and me, and the millions of Israelites.

Flagship

So this is our flagship post -

For a long time I've been jealously stalking other friend's blogs and wishing to have one of my own. I had tried a family blog a while back. But I felt self-centered only writing about myself all the time.

I'll warn you. I don't have the best diction or grammar. My sentences don't always make sense. But I feel incomplete unless I can get thoughts down on a page. So here it goes...

My dream for Harvest is to have a general place to express the thoughts and actions of a loving Christian wife, mother, woman, and all the other things God has created me to be (nurse, gardener, cook, cleaning lady, servant, etc.).

Some things that God has laid on my heart recently: callings.
Where has God called you?
We'll discuss that next time.

Jen