Each day I try to read at least one of the Proverbs (usually correlating with the date).
Today's read of Proverbs 31 was timed just right as I was a complete B to my husband last night.
Last night I got home early from work at 10pm. As I approached the back porch I could see Will sitting on the couch working hard on some very difficult homework; PhD level statistics I think.
The next thing I saw was the inside of the house; a complete disaster.
I walked in and all I could see was piles of smelly laundry (including dirty cloth diapers), toys all over the floors, food and dirty plates all over the kitchen.
I resolved to take a shower and work through the house one area at a time before I went to bed. Did I mention that I didn't even say "hi" or hug my husband?
I got out of the shower and started on the laundry. I grabbed an armful of wet soaker pads from Fiona's diapers (pee-eww!) and opened the washing machine. *******!!! A load full of mildewing clothes sat in my way. They had to be washed all over again before I could start the diapers.
Ok nevermind...I'll start on the toys.
So I got down on all fours and started picking up all the toys; not very quietly either. Will looked up from his homework and asked "Are you mad about something?" "NO" I replied quickly, and kept slamming toys back into their place.
Next was the kitchen. The dishwasher had to be unloaded and re-loaded. Plates are not quiet things to put back in the cupboard anyway... Will popped his head in the kitchen and asked "Are you purposely trying to make as much noise as possible?" My response? "You sure are asking for it tonight. You're on my last **** nerve."
Nothing else was spoken between the two of us the rest of the night. There wasn't even a kiss goodnight.
I felt like crap all night and dreamed about terrible things.
This morning Will gave me a kiss and said "I love you" before leaving to go to school at 5am.
When Fiona woke up at 7am I went into my sparkling clean kitchen (of guilt) to fetch her a sippy cup of milk. I opened the refrigerator and saw that Will had already pre-poured one for me, knowing that Fiona would need one (gulp).
Over and over again I've heard my pastor's praise their wives for being Godly loving women who seem to have never spoken an ill word. Apparently, I am just not that woman. I am not the Proverbs 31 woman...but I can still try, right?
I am so thankful that my husband is forgiving, loving, thoughtful, and hard working. If there was a Proverbs 31 man, he could be it...at least today. ;o)
What I'm even more thankful for is that Jesus has offered crazy filth-induced rage cleaners like me forgiveness and as many second chances as we need. He's also given us a great example of what we can strive to be as women in Proverbs 31.
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
Oh I so feel this post. On the one hand, I love having this passage as a guide. Other times, I feel like it's a noose that wraps tightly around my neck. But in the end, it's just another example that we can't possibly do it all. That we need Jesus to overcome our pride. I know I do. Every single day.
ReplyDeleteGood news! She doesn't really exist, just a goal for us to continue to strive for (and fail it seems at times!). You are an amazing momma, wife and woman in my book though, even on a bad night ;) Love you friend!
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