Love Thy Neighbor

I wish I could say that our neighborhood is "up and coming" or "in revitalization."

Since we moved in 2 years ago we've seen the neighborhood progressively change in good and bad ways.

The Good:
*The pack of stray pit-bulls seems to have dissipated somewhat.
*We've made new friends with our neighbors Hannah and Landon (yeah for playmates!)
*No one has ever stolen from our property (without being caught red-handed).
*We have a beautiful house on nearly 1 acre with a fenced in back yard for the dogs and a garden.
*Our neighbors Cynthia and Bernie are always watching.
*The daily snow-cone truck in the summer is a God-send when pregnant.

The Bad:
*The house down the road has gone from being a cute little yellow house being rented by a sweet old lady into a complete dump. There are over 16 cars/trucks/boats in the yard (of which only 2 work). There is also a perpetual yard-sale in the front yard; there are just piles of junk in the yard and a sign everyday that says "YARD SALE." My favorite part of their yard decoration is a big sign that says "You're making me known." Really? What does that even mean???
*The home across from us is now abandoned by its previous inhabitants. But he left the yard completely trashed, and his creditors are now showing up at our doorstep asking where he moved to.
*The home behind us is now being rented out by what appears to be a group of teenage boys???
*Last night I heard 6 semi-automatic handgun shots fired right outside our front yard. Not the first time I've heard it, but definitely the closest to home its ever been.

So why am I airing all of my grievances? Because I'm frustrated, yes. Because I'm tired of looking at all the crap strewn across our neighbor's yard, yes. Because I know them, and have made an effort as a Christian to "love thy neighbor"? No.

Today Fiona fell asleep in the van. I pulled up a chair and sat in the sunlight doing my Bible study while she finished (I specifically positioned my chair so I didn't have to look at our neighborhood). I opened to 1st John 4 and started reading.

To make things easy for you, let me summarize 1st John 4 - LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS

Urgh! But I don't want to love my neighbors!!! I want to turn them into Wake County for ordinance violations!!! I want to have the Sheriff's department have permanent posting on our corner.

Why am I having such a hard time at this? I haven't even made the effort to walk to their houses and introduce myself.

Don't get me wrong. I have some friends in the neighborhood...friends that resemble, well, me.

But Jesus doesn't call us to LOVE only people that resemble us.

I discussed this with my husband Will tonight and he made a good point -

Will - "If you were at work, and one of our neighbors showed up, would you treat them any differently than any of your other patients?"
Me - "Of course not. Its my job to give all patients equal and excellent treatment."
Will - "As a Christian, what is your job?"

Gulp.

So I asked Will to help me pray and find a way to reach out and LOVE our neighbors. Not for me, but for Jesus. Because I want them to look into our lives and say "they're making Jesus known." Now that makes sense.

Forgiven

Last night I got home from a long day at work and climbed into the shower. On the side of the tub, written in Fiona's foam bath letters I saw "4given"

I wish I had taken a picture of it.

When I saw that I just burst into tears. Sometimes I don't realize how much anxiety I carry around, or how much sin I allow to build up inside of me. Its not until I am reminded that I am forgiven that my heart overflows with relief.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1st John 1:9

Hello? Calling all Israelites...

Callings. Really, what are they all about? Are they about you, about someone else, about God? Its all very confusing.

I've been trying to jot down notes on callings, but to be perfectly honest, I didn't come up with anything that profound on my own.

Recently I've been struggling with feeling lost in my walk (and no, we're not talking about in the six thousand isles of my local WalMart). I just feel like I'm spiritually drifting. In years past I always felt "called" to do something; to serve on a committee, to volunteer for church nursery, to go on mission trips. But recently I just feel lost.

My husband Will sweetly reminded me that all Christians go through some form of this with ups and downs in their spiritual mojo. And then he started reading to me from Numbers.

So Numbers, cliff-notes version: There were a lot of "lost" people [Israelites] who were constantly trying to figure out where they were supposed to be. God had appointed them a leader [Moses] through whom He spoke. The Israelites were always doing something wrong because they didn't listen to God, and Moses was always having to intercede on their behalf.

At this point in the story I turned to Will and said "So what is up with the Israelites? Do they just not get it? Do they not understand that they need to just follow God's will?" To which Will replied, "Well, you see...the Israelites always assumed that God was with them no matter what choices they made. Whereas Moses before making any decision sought out God's will in prayer, and in doing such received specific instructions for his next move." I had to think about that one for a minute and then said "Ooohhhhh. So what you're telling me is maybe if I ask about my calling in prayer then maybe I'll be given direction instead of wandering aimlessly through my spiritual desert?" Bingo.

Since praying about my calling I can't say that God has appeared to me in a huge cloud like He did to Moses. But I can say I'm not feeling as lost as I was. And who knows, maybe my calling will call me soon.

If you're feeling lost spiritually I urge you to pray for direction. Ask God to remove the barriers in front of you and set before you a clean path. And always know, you're not alone in that desert, there's always God, and me, and the millions of Israelites.